“Gun control supporters have the blood of little children on their hands. Federal and state laws combined to insure [sic] that no teacher, no administrator, no adult had a gun at the Newtown school where the children were murdered.”

— Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America

NATION, THIS IS NO TIME for debate and talking, talking, talking about gun control and arguing about interpretations of the Second Amendment. No more babbling and splitting hairs—it’s time to shut up and take action to protect our nation’s children from the atrocities being perpetrated upon them by gun-wielding lunatics.

America, it’s time to do what we do best. It’s time to fight fire with fire. It’s time to arm our nation’s citizens with guns in order to protect ourselves. Not only is this guaranteed by our Constitution, it’s the most logical thing to do in order to solve this scourge of escalating senseless violence that is tearing our country apart at the seams. Enough already. It’s time we all came together as one nation armed to the teeth. It’s time to arm every man, woman, and child with guns because it is the only way we can protect ourselves and guarantee “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness”.

This nationwide effort to protect ourselves must begin in our schools with the arming and training of every school administrator and teacher. I propose a national firearms training program that is implemented and managed jointly by the Department of Defense, Department of Homeland Security, and the Department of Education. Funding for this program, which will be known as the Gun Assisted Teachers (or GAT) program, will come from a mix of tax revenue and donations from a consortium of gun and ammo manufacturers as well as special-interest groups such as the National Rifle Association (NRA) who have, for many years, advocated this much-needed call to arms.

With GAT, firearms training will become an integral component of all teacher training programs. In addition to demonstrating mastery of the subject matter they teach, our nation’s teachers will also be required to demonstrate aptitude in firearms knowledge, including a yearly firing range test in which they achieve a minimum of 83 percent target accuracy.

Once we’ve successfully implemented the GAT program, we will then introduce guns into the curriculum beginning in the second grade. Students will be taught the importance of firearms as well as their central role in American history and popular culture. Playgrounds will be augmented with firing ranges so that teachers can train their pupils in the proper handling of firearms and prepare them to become expert marksmen and responsible citizens. Additionally, we will train our children in tactical skills with a particular emphasis on urban warfare. Along with the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT), there will be a mandatory Firearms Aptitude Test (FAT) that students will be required to achieve a passing score on before graduating from high school.

Nation, this is no time for more gun control—it’s time for massive gun proliferation. Only when every American is armed and equally dangerous will we all be safe. God bless America and God bless the guns that will keep us free from sea to shining sea.